Wiz: Even without the KGB, Black Widow remains one of the top assassins in the world. Wiz rolls his eyes and facepalms with his metal hand, shattering his glasses.īoomstick: (laughs) You broke your glasses, idiot!īoomstick: Oh God, I should've seen this coming! Wiz zaps him with a replica of the gauntlet.īoomstick: Wow, that was pretty shocking, Wiz. The Widow's Line is a retractable grappling hook that lets her swing like Spider-Man, cartridges of tear gas pellets and explosives serve obvious purposes, and then there's the Widow's Bite.īoomstick: What, like a spider bite? How's that supposed to. Wiz: Well, not only is her suit composed of an abnormally durable Kevlar, she has several gadgets hidden within her gauntlets. And while keeping up with the likes of Iron Man and Thor is no easy feat, she held her own not just with her amazing talents, but also her plethora of gear and gadgets.īoomstick: Where does she keep 'em all in that bodysuit? It's like, super tight! I mean, not that I'm complaining or anything, but the logistics are baffling. Wiz: And so, Black Widow betrayed her country, and became an ally of the Avengers. Popup: Natasha has actually had to break free of multiple brainwashings. ![]() Wiz: Still, she received some impressive benefits, including a beyond Olympic level physique, inhuman resistance to poison and disease, and slowed aging.īoomstick: So she gets to keep her good looks for over a century.īoomstick: Yeah, tha-that's pretty good, too. Because at the time, everyone and their dog was trying to make the next Captain America, but she wound up with the knockoff, dollar store version, 'cause the Nazis decided to kill the only person in the world who knew how to make it. Wiz: Well, while Natasha was plenty deadly on her own, she got one more gift from the Red Room.īoomstick: A super-soldier serum. I was the only one who survived.īoomstick: You should see it coming out. When I was a kid, Mama Boomstick trained me and some friends to eat over 60 hot dogs in ten minutes. Crazy to think about, considering how much went into each one's training, but all the more to transform her into the ultimate stone-cold spy, codenamed Black Widow.īoomstick: Eh, sometimes that's what you gotta do if you wanna be a winner. She was even forced to duel other members to the death. Natasha was brainwashed, literally programmed with false memories, which included her days as a ballerina. Wiz: Don't get the wrong idea, the Red Room was brutal. Wiz: She learned dozens of other martial arts, including Karate, Muay Thai, Aikido, and Kung Fu.īoomstick: And she's mastered all sorts of weaponry, becoming an expert marksman. Like, how does she even do that? Are Russians magic? Including the newly invented Sambo style, which is basically like street fighting Judo mixed with the craziest grappling moves ever. ![]() There, in the infamous Red Room, Natasha was trained to be the deadliest spy in the world.īoomstick: She learned all sorts of stealth, assassination, and martial arts techniques. Wiz: However, the most likely story was that Petrovich admitted a young Natasha to a secret Soviet program called the Black Widow Ops. But she eventually put her talents to use, working for the KGB and becoming a famous ballerina. However, regardless of her past, she always ends up in the same place.īoomstick: Luckily, Wolverine and Captain Boy Scout rescued her. Popup: Black Widow's backstory is intentionally left as vague as possible to lend credence to her work as a spy.
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